Kink

Tuesday, 8 April 2008 21:57
mysteriousaliways: (Primeval - Ryan takes aim)
[personal profile] mysteriousaliways
Title : Kink
Fandom : Primeval
Author : [livejournal.com profile] mysteriousaliwz
Rating : PG 15
Warnings : Complete crack!fic. Contains explicit language. Um, and ... beverage warning? If you were one of the ones who sporfled their coffee over the keyboard when you read 'Sanctuary', you might want to put the mug down now. Just saying.
Spoilers : None
Pairing : Ryan/Stephen
Author's Notes : Set in my Sanctuary!verse. For [livejournal.com profile] deinonychus_1, who wanted a sequel to Sanctuary. Thanks to [livejournal.com profile] lukadreaming for kicking off the plot bunny for this chapter *g*. And many thanks to [livejournal.com profile] fredbassett for the beta and for letting me borrow the cable ties and socks. I'll make sure they wash them before they give them back.

Cross-posted to [livejournal.com profile] primeval_denial and [livejournal.com profile] primeval_fanfic.


Kink
~~~~~

"Ow."

"Stephen?"

"Ouch ... ow ... bugger!"

"What are you doing in there?"

"Aarrhh ..."

"Stephen, are you going to open this door or am I going to have to break it down?"

"All right, all right, keep your hair on."

"What's the matter?"

"It's your bloody kinks, that's what's the matter."

"What?"

"Apparently, you now have a piercing kink."

"What do you mean, I have a piercing kink ... holy shit!?!"

"You see?"

"What the hell have you done to your nipples?"

"I haven't done anything to them - I just woke up and they were like this. The Management have obviously decided that it would be fun to have you perving over my nipples. Which means that I'm saddled with chunks of metal in them. And it hurts like hell."

"Sorry to hear that. But The Management do have a point. They do look kinda sexy."

"Do they?"

"Oh god, yes. So, sooo sexy ..."

"Well ..."

"God, yessss ..."

"Hang on a minute, sunshine, you're not coming anywhere near these until they've healed."

"How long will that take?"

"Dunno - two, three weeks?"

"Three WEEKS? You're kidding me! I can't wait that long! I mean, just look at them - all perky and erect, with those shiny rings glinting in the light, just begging for my tongue to play with them ..."

"Stop that growling noise, Ryan. You're Special Forces, you should have enough self-control to keep your kink under control until then."

"I can't help it - when they give you a kink, they don't hang about, that lot. Anyway, you can talk - what about last week? I am *never* doing that thing with the peanut butter again."

"I don't recall you complaining at the time."

"You could at least have used the smooth instead of the crunchy!"

"It was the only kind I had to hand at the time! Anyway, that's not the point. The point is, you're not touching these. I'm too sore."

"Aw, poor baby. I could kiss them better?"

"No."

"Saliva has healing properties, y' know. That's why dogs lick their injuries. They'd heal quicker."

"No."

"Not even ...?"

"No."

"I could just ..."

"NO!"

"C'mon, Stephen, you know you can't wait that long either..."

"Ryan ..."

"Mmm ..."

"OUCH! GERROFF!!"

"Ow! Ok, I'm off, I'm off!"

"You touch them again and I'll ... I'll get a piercing kink of my own! I'll tell them I have a thing for guys with a Prince Albert!"

"Don't you bloody dare!"

"Try me!"

"Oh come on, Stephen, I really can't help it. It's the kink - there's not a lot I can do about it."

"All right. I know it's not your fault."

"How the hell am I going to be able to keep my hands off you for three whole weeks? I mean, that has to qualify as cruel and unusual punishment. There must be something in the Geneva Convention about it."

"Don't pout, Ryan, it isn't manly."

"There must be some way we can shag though? Although how I'm going to be able to stop myself from touching those ..."

"You're drooling again."

"Sorry."

"Let me think ..."

"Ok."

"..."

"..."

"Ahhhh ..."

"What? What's with that smirk?"

"I think I have a solution."

"Judging by that look on your face, I'm not going to like this ..."

"I've just worked out what to do with those cable ties and socks."

Date: Thursday, 10 April 2008 23:23 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mysteriousaliwz.livejournal.com
the poster tube came apart

Lol! Ever thought that someone at the post office has realised that you get sent ... um ... 'interesting' reading/viewing matter through the post, and 'accidentally' drops any parcels addressed to you?
I'd keep a close eye on that postman if I were you ;)

Date: Thursday, 10 April 2008 23:35 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lukadreaming.livejournal.com
LOL! Good point! He certainly takes a keen interest in what I get. We've got a stand-in one at the moment and he's Polish and looks about 12 -- dunno if he got warned about some of my, um, jucier items of post *vbg*

Date: Thursday, 10 April 2008 23:50 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mysteriousaliwz.livejournal.com
Lol! I'm sure it would be very educational for him *nods*

Date: Thursday, 10 April 2008 23:53 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lukadreaming.livejournal.com
LOL, of course *vbg*. I could offer my services to Royal Mail -- they must need someone to run such educational things for them :o)

He seems more accurate at delivering the post than the usual barking mad one . . . I live in fear of the usual one delivering something dodgy of mine to my elderly and rather shockable next door neighbour *bg*

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