Kink

[mysteriousaliways]

Title : Kink
Fandom : Primeval
Author : mysteriousaliwz
Rating : PG 15
Warnings : Complete crack!fic. Contains explicit language. Um, and ... beverage warning? If you were one of the ones who sporfled their coffee over the keyboard when you read 'Sanctuary', you might want to put the mug down now. Just saying.
Spoilers : None
Pairing : Ryan/Stephen
Author's Notes : Set in my Sanctuary!verse. For deinonychus_1, who wanted a sequel to Sanctuary. Thanks to lukadreaming for kicking off the plot bunny for this chapter *g*. And many thanks to fredbassett for the beta and for letting me borrow the cable ties and socks. I'll make sure they wash them before they give them back.

Cross-posted to primeval_denial and primeval_fanfic.


Kink
~~~~~

"Ow."

"Stephen?"

"Ouch ... ow ... bugger!"

"What are you doing in there?"

"Aarrhh ..."

"Stephen, are you going to open this door or am I going to have to break it down?"

"All right, all right, keep your hair on."

"What's the matter?"

"It's your bloody kinks, that's what's the matter."

"What?"

"Apparently, you now have a piercing kink."

"What do you mean, I have a piercing kink ... holy shit!?!"

"You see?"

"What the hell have you done to your nipples?"

"I haven't done anything to them - I just woke up and they were like this. The Management have obviously decided that it would be fun to have you perving over my nipples. Which means that I'm saddled with chunks of metal in them. And it hurts like hell."

"Sorry to hear that. But The Management do have a point. They do look kinda sexy."

"Do they?"

"Oh god, yes. So, sooo sexy ..."

"Well ..."

"God, yessss ..."

"Hang on a minute, sunshine, you're not coming anywhere near these until they've healed."

"How long will that take?"

"Dunno - two, three weeks?"

"Three WEEKS? You're kidding me! I can't wait that long! I mean, just look at them - all perky and erect, with those shiny rings glinting in the light, just begging for my tongue to play with them ..."

"Stop that growling noise, Ryan. You're Special Forces, you should have enough self-control to keep your kink under control until then."

"I can't help it - when they give you a kink, they don't hang about, that lot. Anyway, you can talk - what about last week? I am *never* doing that thing with the peanut butter again."

"I don't recall you complaining at the time."

"You could at least have used the smooth instead of the crunchy!"

"It was the only kind I had to hand at the time! Anyway, that's not the point. The point is, you're not touching these. I'm too sore."

"Aw, poor baby. I could kiss them better?"

"No."

"Saliva has healing properties, y' know. That's why dogs lick their injuries. They'd heal quicker."

"No."

"Not even ...?"

"No."

"I could just ..."

"NO!"

"C'mon, Stephen, you know you can't wait that long either..."

"Ryan ..."

"Mmm ..."

"OUCH! GERROFF!!"

"Ow! Ok, I'm off, I'm off!"

"You touch them again and I'll ... I'll get a piercing kink of my own! I'll tell them I have a thing for guys with a Prince Albert!"

"Don't you bloody dare!"

"Try me!"

"Oh come on, Stephen, I really can't help it. It's the kink - there's not a lot I can do about it."

"All right. I know it's not your fault."

"How the hell am I going to be able to keep my hands off you for three whole weeks? I mean, that has to qualify as cruel and unusual punishment. There must be something in the Geneva Convention about it."

"Don't pout, Ryan, it isn't manly."

"There must be some way we can shag though? Although how I'm going to be able to stop myself from touching those ..."

"You're drooling again."

"Sorry."

"Let me think ..."

"Ok."

"..."

"..."

"Ahhhh ..."

"What? What's with that smirk?"

"I think I have a solution."

"Judging by that look on your face, I'm not going to like this ..."

"I've just worked out what to do with those cable ties and socks."

Comments

[bigtitch.livejournal.com]

Fred said this was hysterical. She's right! Poor Stephen and poor Ryan. You have to write the sequel of course!

[vivoperleix.livejournal.com]

*squeals*

Oh, it is funni indeed..
Poor boys... 3 weeks...no1 can resist Stephen for that long..

Great story!

[neevebrody.livejournal.com]

"I can't help it - when they give you a kink, they don't hang about, that lot.

Heh, no we don't! I must say, I'm totally hooked now - can't wait to see what they do with the cable ties and socks...

[deinonychus-1.livejournal.com]

Squeeeeeeeeeeee! *giggles lots*

That was brilliant. Please write more in this Sanctuary!verse.

""Don't pout, Ryan, it isn't manly.""

But he's pretty when he's pouting *giggle* I loved that line, though.

[adafrog.livejournal.com]

lol Go boys!

[munchkinofdoom.livejournal.com]

Be afraid! Be very afraid! Who knows that their mistresses are going to come up with next!

Mind you, this mistress find the idea of Ryan with a prince albert fascinating!

[joereaves.livejournal.com]

Lmao. Love this. Poor Stephen *snicker* But hey does that mean he's going to tie Ry up constantly for three weeks? *grin*

[x-bellaitalia-x.livejournal.com]

hah! lol! love this! Poor Ryan...restraining himself for three whole weeks!

Update soon!

*waits impatiently to find out what the cable ties and socks are used for...'

[byrons-brain.livejournal.com]

Oh fantastic! more please ::on knees begging::

[fredbassett]

LOL, I'm back and this is still as wonderful as it was before I disappeared :)

[telperion-15.livejournal.com]

*sporfles*

Ryan needs to employ some soldier-boy self-discipline, methinks... ;-)

[steamshovelmama.livejournal.com]

And, yep, this one is just as funny...

"You could at least have used the smooth instead of the crunchy"

ROTFLMAO!

[fififolle]

Oh man! This is priceless :D I don't think I've ever read a dialogue-only fic that worked so well *grin* Poor old Stephen, muwahahahaha!

[torncorpse.livejournal.com]

HA!

Should'a known they'd figure out the cable ties soon!

This is so good!
I love their little safe bubble!!

[fredbassett]

LOL, loved this then, love it now!!

Ryan pouting is a thing of beauty.

[canadian-jay.livejournal.com]

OMFGROFL

That last line just takes the cake.

[reggietate.livejournal.com]

*howls* I seem not to have commented on this one before, and it's quite delightful and hilarious, so I really should have before now :-)

[shadowcat]

*is falling on the floor at her desk laughing a lot.*

[aunteeneenah.livejournal.com]

OMG!!! I cannot wait to see what they do to our intrepid heros next! Poor Stephen, sounds really painful and poor Ryan, no nookie!