Kink

[mysteriousaliways]

Title : Kink
Fandom : Primeval
Author : mysteriousaliwz
Rating : PG 15
Warnings : Complete crack!fic. Contains explicit language. Um, and ... beverage warning? If you were one of the ones who sporfled their coffee over the keyboard when you read 'Sanctuary', you might want to put the mug down now. Just saying.
Spoilers : None
Pairing : Ryan/Stephen
Author's Notes : Set in my Sanctuary!verse. For deinonychus_1, who wanted a sequel to Sanctuary. Thanks to lukadreaming for kicking off the plot bunny for this chapter *g*. And many thanks to fredbassett for the beta and for letting me borrow the cable ties and socks. I'll make sure they wash them before they give them back.

Cross-posted to primeval_denial and primeval_fanfic.


Kink
~~~~~

"Ow."

"Stephen?"

"Ouch ... ow ... bugger!"

"What are you doing in there?"

"Aarrhh ..."

"Stephen, are you going to open this door or am I going to have to break it down?"

"All right, all right, keep your hair on."

"What's the matter?"

"It's your bloody kinks, that's what's the matter."

"What?"

"Apparently, you now have a piercing kink."

"What do you mean, I have a piercing kink ... holy shit!?!"

"You see?"

"What the hell have you done to your nipples?"

"I haven't done anything to them - I just woke up and they were like this. The Management have obviously decided that it would be fun to have you perving over my nipples. Which means that I'm saddled with chunks of metal in them. And it hurts like hell."

"Sorry to hear that. But The Management do have a point. They do look kinda sexy."

"Do they?"

"Oh god, yes. So, sooo sexy ..."

"Well ..."

"God, yessss ..."

"Hang on a minute, sunshine, you're not coming anywhere near these until they've healed."

"How long will that take?"

"Dunno - two, three weeks?"

"Three WEEKS? You're kidding me! I can't wait that long! I mean, just look at them - all perky and erect, with those shiny rings glinting in the light, just begging for my tongue to play with them ..."

"Stop that growling noise, Ryan. You're Special Forces, you should have enough self-control to keep your kink under control until then."

"I can't help it - when they give you a kink, they don't hang about, that lot. Anyway, you can talk - what about last week? I am *never* doing that thing with the peanut butter again."

"I don't recall you complaining at the time."

"You could at least have used the smooth instead of the crunchy!"

"It was the only kind I had to hand at the time! Anyway, that's not the point. The point is, you're not touching these. I'm too sore."

"Aw, poor baby. I could kiss them better?"

"No."

"Saliva has healing properties, y' know. That's why dogs lick their injuries. They'd heal quicker."

"No."

"Not even ...?"

"No."

"I could just ..."

"NO!"

"C'mon, Stephen, you know you can't wait that long either..."

"Ryan ..."

"Mmm ..."

"OUCH! GERROFF!!"

"Ow! Ok, I'm off, I'm off!"

"You touch them again and I'll ... I'll get a piercing kink of my own! I'll tell them I have a thing for guys with a Prince Albert!"

"Don't you bloody dare!"

"Try me!"

"Oh come on, Stephen, I really can't help it. It's the kink - there's not a lot I can do about it."

"All right. I know it's not your fault."

"How the hell am I going to be able to keep my hands off you for three whole weeks? I mean, that has to qualify as cruel and unusual punishment. There must be something in the Geneva Convention about it."

"Don't pout, Ryan, it isn't manly."

"There must be some way we can shag though? Although how I'm going to be able to stop myself from touching those ..."

"You're drooling again."

"Sorry."

"Let me think ..."

"Ok."

"..."

"..."

"Ahhhh ..."

"What? What's with that smirk?"

"I think I have a solution."

"Judging by that look on your face, I'm not going to like this ..."

"I've just worked out what to do with those cable ties and socks."

Comments

[bigtitch.livejournal.com]

Fred said this was hysterical. She's right! Poor Stephen and poor Ryan. You have to write the sequel of course!

[mysteriousaliwz.livejournal.com]

Lol, keep the ideas coming and the sanctuary!verse will eat 'em up! I shall have to reread the comment!porn entries for more bunnies.

Our poor boys - what we put them through. They're just so #pretty# when they're being debauched *g*

[vivoperleix.livejournal.com]

*squeals*

Oh, it is funni indeed..
Poor boys... 3 weeks...no1 can resist Stephen for that long..

Great story!

[mysteriousaliwz.livejournal.com]

Thanks, glad you enjoyed it :)

We are cruel to those lads sometimes - but I'm sure the fun they'll have will more than make up for it ;)

[neevebrody.livejournal.com]

"I can't help it - when they give you a kink, they don't hang about, that lot.

Heh, no we don't! I must say, I'm totally hooked now - can't wait to see what they do with the cable ties and socks...

[lukadreaming.livejournal.com]

Tee hee hee, so pleased to have been of assistance *vvbg*. This is a total hoot -- I disregarded your warning and was sipping ever so ladylike at my mint tea which is of course now decorating the laptop screen! More, more!

[mysteriousaliwz.livejournal.com]

Lol, I have a feeling we're going to keep those two very busy, judging by all the stuff the fandom is coming up with ;)

I think what Fred originally did with the cable ties and socks was luscious - if I can come up with a suitable sanctuary! angle on it I'll see what I can do :)
I'll just have to read lots of porn and wait for inspiration. *sighs* it's a tough life ...

[deinonychus-1.livejournal.com]

Squeeeeeeeeeeee! *giggles lots*

That was brilliant. Please write more in this Sanctuary!verse.

""Don't pout, Ryan, it isn't manly.""

But he's pretty when he's pouting *giggle* I loved that line, though.

[mysteriousaliwz.livejournal.com]

I had pissed-off Stephen and his nipples and randy Ryan hogging my brain all day at work yesterday. Needless to say, I didn't get much work done as they're kind of distracting *g*

Poor Ryan - we land him with a hot and heavy kink and then don't let him loose on it. Be patient, dear boy *pats him on head*

[adafrog.livejournal.com]

lol Go boys!

[mysteriousaliwz.livejournal.com]

Lol, I do like to keep them busy. Can't have them getting bored sitting in the Sanctuary *g*

[munchkinofdoom.livejournal.com]

Be afraid! Be very afraid! Who knows that their mistresses are going to come up with next!

Mind you, this mistress find the idea of Ryan with a prince albert fascinating!

[mysteriousaliwz.livejournal.com]

*snorfle*

Poor lads, they don't know what's hit them *g*

I don't think Ryan would be a very happy bunny if we landed him with one of those - the pictures I came across when I was researching made me wince and cross my legs, and I don't even have the relevant bits!

I may have other plans for him though *cackles*

[joereaves.livejournal.com]

Lmao. Love this. Poor Stephen *snicker* But hey does that mean he's going to tie Ry up constantly for three weeks? *grin*

[mysteriousaliwz.livejournal.com]

Lol, poor lamb *hands him some antiseptic spray*

Looks like it! Well it would certainly stop Ryan from giving in to the temptation of having a quick feel *veg*

[x-bellaitalia-x.livejournal.com]

hah! lol! love this! Poor Ryan...restraining himself for three whole weeks!

Update soon!

*waits impatiently to find out what the cable ties and socks are used for...'

[mysteriousaliwz.livejournal.com]

Lol, I don't think it will be Ryan doing the restraining - take a guess at what Stephen will be using the cable ties (and socks) for ;)

[byrons-brain.livejournal.com]

Oh fantastic! more please ::on knees begging::

[mysteriousaliwz.livejournal.com]

Glad you liked it *g*

The plotbunnies have been attacking my brain again today, much to the detriment of my work productivity, so another episode will be along eventually. Possibly with less humour and more smut *g*

[fredbassett]

LOL, I'm back and this is still as wonderful as it was before I disappeared :)

[mysteriousaliwz.livejournal.com]

Yay, Fred! *glomps* Welcome back :)

Glad you enjoyed it. The plotbunnies have been very busy in your absence *eg*

[telperion-15.livejournal.com]

*sporfles*

Ryan needs to employ some soldier-boy self-discipline, methinks... ;-)

[mysteriousaliwz.livejournal.com]

Hee! I'm sure Ryan has vast resources of self-discipline, but when it comes to a combination of The Management's kinks and Stephen's nipples, the poor lad doesn't stand a chance.
*evil grin*

[steamshovelmama.livejournal.com]

And, yep, this one is just as funny...

"You could at least have used the smooth instead of the crunchy"

ROTFLMAO!

[mysteriousaliwz.livejournal.com]

*g* I thought it best to draw a discreet veil over exactly what bizarre thing they were doing with the peanut butter ...

[fififolle]

Oh man! This is priceless :D I don't think I've ever read a dialogue-only fic that worked so well *grin* Poor old Stephen, muwahahahaha!

[mysteriousaliwz.livejournal.com]

*g* Thanks. I don't recall having attempted to write a dialogue-only fic before, but it just seemed to fit with the plotbunny.

*pets the poor boy's sore nipples*
Hang on in there Stephen, it'll be worth it ;)

[torncorpse.livejournal.com]

HA!

Should'a known they'd figure out the cable ties soon!

This is so good!
I love their little safe bubble!!

[mysteriousaliwz.livejournal.com]

*g*
Those cable ties are way too useful to ignore. I 'm thinking of making a cable ties icon.

Don't worry lads, you're safe with us. *pets*
*wicked grin*

[fredbassett]

LOL, loved this then, love it now!!

Ryan pouting is a thing of beauty.

[mysteriousaliwz.livejournal.com]

Thanks :)

That lower lip of his was made for a sexy pout.
*happy sigh*

[canadian-jay.livejournal.com]

OMFGROFL

That last line just takes the cake.

[mysteriousaliwz.livejournal.com]

I nicked the cable ties and socks from fredbassett - have you read her Stephen/Ryan series? Brilliant stuff :)

I took some cable ties along the last time I met up with some of the Denial mob, at the London Expo. We have the photos of Primeval action figures using them *g*

[reggietate.livejournal.com]

*howls* I seem not to have commented on this one before, and it's quite delightful and hilarious, so I really should have before now :-)

[mysteriousaliwz.livejournal.com]

*smiles* I'm rather fond of this one - it's one of my favourites of those I've written. The dialogue works quite well (in my head anyway!)

[shadowcat]

*is falling on the floor at her desk laughing a lot.*

[mysteriousaliwz.livejournal.com]

*arranges cushions around your chair*

[aunteeneenah.livejournal.com]

OMG!!! I cannot wait to see what they do to our intrepid heros next! Poor Stephen, sounds really painful and poor Ryan, no nookie!